#011: My 1 Controversial Opinion On A Dad's Motivation

Why Family Can't Be It

Author

Omar Arellano
September 17, 2023

Hey guys!

I’ve been on a 90’s kick, so thought I’d indulge in the classic film, City Slickers, while folding a mountain of laundry.

Billy Crystal plays the lead role as Mitch, a 39-year-old discontent husband and father. His unhappiness drives him and his best friends on a real cowboy experience in search of their youth.

Halfway through the film, Mitch has an exchange with Curly, the veteran cowboy. So rugged he can light a match with his facial stubble.

Curly: Do you know what the secret of life is? [points index finger skyward] This.

Mitch: Your finger?

Curly: One thing. Just one thing. You stick to that and the rest don't mean sh*t.

Mitch: But, what is the "one thing?"

Curly: [smiles and points his finger at Mitch] That's what you have to find out.

City Slickers, 1991

Then after a life-threatening attempt to save Norm, his calf, Mitch realizes his “one thing” is his family. He comes home smiling and reinvigorated about life.

And here’s my hot take: what if that “one thing” is not your family.

After years of unhealthily revolving my life around my wife and kids, I couldn’t show up the way they needed me to.

They weren’t my primary motivation. In fact, I was driven by my need for validation. That’s no way to lead a family. I was falling short.

Through prayer and soul-searching, I came to terms with needing something else to reenergize me and push me to become a better man.

After 30+ years I concluded I had unfulfilled dreams. Creativity left untapped. Ideas to develop. I still have a need to prove something to myself about what I could accomplish.

This newsletter is the beginning of my pursuit. I love inspiring, encouraging, and edutaining you with content. (Edutainment = Educational Entertainment)

Does this mean my family takes a back seat? Quite the contrary. I am now healthier, more engaged, and more productive on the home front.

It’s from the overflow of my soul that I show up better than ever to my wife and kids.

So here’s my nudge to you:

  • What gets you excited about life?

  • What is it that one thing that pushes you through the tough times?

  • What does your heart look forward to?

You may very well be that 100% 24/7 family man or woman. But if that isn’t you, you owe it to yourself to figure out what makes you tick so your family gets the best version of you.

Remember Dad, self-care isn’t selfish.

You deserve it.

Have a great rest of your week!

-Omar

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