#003: I Just Don't Feel Like It

For years, motivation (or the lack thereof) was a central issue to my day-to-day living. I’m not sure when it started, but something in me snapped when I was in 8th grade. Suddenly, I no longer strived to get the good grades, awards, and recognition in school. I thought my drive would come back eventually, but it never quite did all through college. I’ll let you know if my therapy ever unlocks that mystery.

But alas! I am now a grown man with a wife to love, two little girls to raise, income to earn, bills to pay, you know the drill. And ignorance is no longer a valid excuse for decreased motivation. I mean, come on, this is the Information Age! My time had come to graduate from a regimen of “BEST Motivation Ever” YouTube videos overdubbed with epic celebrity success speeches. Absolutely no shame in watching those, by the way. I still do.

For this newsletter, I thought I’d share three takeaways that helped the beginning of my climb out of the rut I was in.

Disclaimer: I am not claiming to know the all-encompassing answer to this problem; neither am I a neurobiologist, psychologist, or scientist in any way. There is a lot of content on the topic by real experts which I will continue to share in the coming weeks, but there was one show that had a great episode to kick-start my motivation journey. For your preference, these are the podcast and youtube versions:

1. Stop waiting to feel motivated

   As Mel puts it: motivation is garbage. I had to accept there simply is no motivational speech, leadership figure, or external force that can make me want to change or take the necessary actions. The real question is: do I truly want the healthy, loving, generous, fulfilling life more than I want comfort? If the answer is yes, then a decision needs to be made.

2. It takes one decision to change your life

   There are dreams and goals in life I’ve been thinking about and researching for a long time, but to be honest, I haven’t truly made the decision to pursue them. My default setting is to hesitate, overthink, and analyze my weaknesses and shortcomings. So I never feel encouraged enough to put in the work. But there has to come a time when we make the decision to jump. Take the leap. Take the first step. It’s that one decision to commit. Once the decision is made, there’s the action piece of the equation…

3. The Five Second Rule

   Mel Robbins is known for this five second rule to kick-start oneself into action when you just don’t feel it. Because we all know what we’ve decided to do: get out of bed early, do the dishes, begin the project, make the cold call, start the hard conversation, etc. When you come to that fork in the road where we either take action or hesitate, count down five… four… three… two… one… and just GO. Do the thing. The counting down brings focus and is a useful “hack” to summon courage. In the episode, she explains the science and psychology behind why it works. And surprisingly, so far, it has been effective. Give it a shot. I’d love to know if it helped you and in what way, so feel free to reply to this email :)

There is so much more to this motivation topic I’ve been learning and applying, and I’m looking forward to share how it’s going. But the truth is, motivation doesn’t come when we really need it. It doesn’t come when it’s time to wake up to get the kids to school. When work is piling it on. When the living room is buried in laundry. When overwhelm has you gridlocked. When every ounce of energy was spent getting the kids to bed.

So let’s stop waiting to feel it. The feeling ain’t comin’. Embrace the decision to pursue that thing in your heart of hearts you have been yearning for! And count. Five… four… three… two… one… GO.

Remember, it’s only 1% better today,

-Omar X x O o x o

🎧 Podcast Episode Of The Week

As an intentional companion to the idea of deciding to pursue goals & dreams and taking action, this episode discusses the importance of a meaningful mission in life.

🎤 Dad’s Got Jokes

Being that we just came out of a multi-holiday week, here’s a comedy bit by a comedian, Sebastian Maniscalco. My wife and I think he’s hilarious.