#004: What Matters Most

Hey guys!

Last week was another busy one with our girls back from Spring break. In addition, Erin, my photographer wife, had a couple of events to shoot over the weekend. We rarely attend an event together as a family, but last Saturday we actually attended a birthday party!

And this was an EARLY party. A 10 AM start time, and one hour away from home too. Nevertheless, we were all excited to attend a just-for-fun event, so we absolutely crushed it in the morning. Flew out the door right on time. We were first to arrive to the celebration and did it all: balloon animals, face painting, photo booth, playground, cupcakes, cookies, you name it, we were on a roll! We left that party with goodie bags and triumph in our step.

Finally, we were on our way home, and Zoelle, our oldest, asked, “What else are we going to do?”

It was 1pm.

In all honesty, I wanted to do nothing. No thing. We had just experienced a birthday party. Substantial energy was expended to prep, travel, attend, and return. I was good. It was Saturday. Let’s get home. I’ll find a relatively comfortable spot to lay while the girls play in their bedroom of a thousand toys. I would only resuscitate to feed them. That’s it. Bada bing, bada boom. Finito. Where’s my gold medal? Is it bedtime yet?

Then the more virtuous part of my dad-heart gave me a nudge. I recalled the countless times my 6-year-old has asked to do something fun with us, like ride bikes, walk downtown, play outside. My excuses are always justifiable and reasonable and I have every reason to call it a day and wait out the remaining hours at home until bedtime. “Oh, I can’t right now.” “Maybe tomorrow.” “It’s a rough week at work, maybe next week.” How many times do we say this to the people we love most?

Before I could break the bad news we would be home the rest of the day, I asked myself, “If not now, then when?” I didn’t have an answer to when. My only thought was, “If I don’t know when, why not now?”

Erin shot me a text as we always do for highly classified communication in the presence of little ears. She suggested soccer at the park in our neighborhood.

And that’s what we did.

The four of us went to the park for swings, the playground, and some soccer fun. We had laughs and stumbles, cheers and scrapes. A simple yet memorable time together. That night the kids went to bed with hearts filled with that “quality time” kind of love. Bedtime was peaceful and full of conversations and curiosities of a six and three year old. It was the stuff of Disney movies.

As for the parents, we ended our night exhausted as we usually do, but unlike other tiring days, we felt a deep sense of satisfaction and fulfillment. We felt the pride on joy of caring for the most precious humans in our lives. We looked at each other and agreed. “Let’s go to the park more often.”

And that’s truly all it takes with little ones. Activities don’t need to be extravagant. All they require is for us to be attentive and present. When I think back to my childhood, it was the people, not the places, who made memories unforgettable.

I realize my story was about raising kids, but it’s still a valid question in regards to our most important relationships. “If not now, then when?” This question is particularly relevant to those of us that tend to put things off indefinitely, or get tunnel visioned during a stressful season. Of course, we all have responsibilities to tend to and bills to pay, but we all know how quickly days become weeks, weeks become months, and months become years.

And that’s the thought I want to leave us with. If you don’t know when, why not now? Stop putting off the play date, fixing the bikes, meeting up for coffee, doing the bro hang, having the date night. Because in the end, it’s time we don’t get back, so why don’t we spend it with who is most important to us?

Have an unforgettable week!

-Omar

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